I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
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