white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
