I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
The struggles of a small town man whore
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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