So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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