I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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