And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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