I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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