I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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