I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
