The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
