Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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