You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
