Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
