Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
