So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
