I'm gonna have a badass scar
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
