So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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