nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
