I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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