Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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