i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
