i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
