oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I have post one night stand depression
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
