Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
