We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
