Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
