This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
