"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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