Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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