Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
