I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
