Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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