I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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