the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
