When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
