Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
