No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
