Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
