so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
