we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
