I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
