oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
