8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
