whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
be right there i have to get my cape
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
