I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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