i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
