Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
