I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
