ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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