Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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