When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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