That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
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