Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
