He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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