I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
